Dolwyddelan Castle Circuit
14.0 miles
Its always disconcerting when teams go off in different directions. Which one do you plagiarise? Or are they all wrong and your secret shortcut is the best way. Take Five stuck to their lemming instinct and went the way most of the others went, which was probably about right. Still it involved a couple of short sharp hills which wiped the smiles off everyones faces.
After this it was the usual groin wrenching sprint down flat country lanes as Take Five fast approached what was clearly going to be the first long climb of the day. This was the first time that a circuit route had been used in the challenge. It meant the whole team was involved for the first time and also meant we were all out for the day. There were no easy exit points on the route so once started, teams had to finish.
Stumbles phenominal early pace kept the competative edge firmly in place. For a change Stumbles was given responsibility for the checkpoint tab, so the conversation just after the first stop went something like "What do mean you didnt get it stamped!!!" Mole Grips took a break from his constant stream of inuendo's to send Stumbles back. "I'll catch up" he cried as everyone walked off mumbling "You better....".
As the terrain steepened the team was getting more spread out and we got to the horror movie point. The one where everyone is in dire peril and lost. Then someone goes "I think we should all split up". The whole audience cries NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO....!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! .
Loser put the question to everyone. Oh yes, good idea everyone concurred, because we're one map short, so one part of the team can finish the section blind. That's a good idea. Cant see any problems with that. What could go wrong?
Bye.
Loser, Mole Grips and Stumbles forged on, or more aptly, slogged on up the hill. Stumbles boundless enthusiasm continued to the top and Mole Grips' John Inman impression was getting better with every hill the team tackled. Mole Grips had had an unfortuante accident the day before with his hydration pouch, which leaked down his back providing Stumbles with ample opportunity to take the mick. So it was only justice that some sort of vengence was visited upon him.
"OK there's at least 25 people resting on top of this hill by the checkpoint" Loser remarked, "so we'll stop down the slope there and get going before everyone catches up, because its impossible to get by anyone along this track".
"Right lets go then" Loser said after a couple of minutes rest, only to find Stumbles with his lunch neatly layed out on his picnic blanket, sack off, hydration sack dismantled, lucozade bottle in hand and a look of panic on his face. "What...... now". Queue a wet bum with the added stickyness of Lucozade.
The horseshoe route was magnificent, with views down into the central vallet and a series of boogy areas and lakes. These proved to be a challenge for all the teams and resulted in a lot of wet feet. The descent was steep but spectacular with a number of drops that looked improbable. The slope down to the air vent was great; tufted grass which was forgiving if you slipped. A tea tray would have made for an adventurous ride down.
Now the map was clear at this point. There was this easy to see green dotted path and most teams descided this was the way. How wrong could we all be. Thirty minutes later and after 20 minutes of incredibly difficult walking Take Five were lost. Even Stumbles amazing death dive into the swamp grass couldnt cheer the half-a-team up. "I know a shortcut" Loser stated and led everyone down a dead end valley for fifteen minutes before turning around and walking back up.
There was only one thing for it and the Jaffa Cakes came out (at around the same time that the map hid itself between two boulders never to be seen again). Everyone felt a lot better and Loser's comment that if a farmer could put a gate in a field, he must have been able to get a tractor there, so ergo there must be a path, was met with disbalieving stares. He could almost here them saying "idiot". But it worked and fifteen minutes later they found the path, felt loads better and then realised they'd lost the map...........doh!
Loser's ears were still ringing from Mole Grips encouraging comments like "You've done **!! what!!!. How do we know where to go fool?" Stumbles came to the rescue with a blind guess which everyone immediately accepted out of desperation. Five minutes later and Take Five had tagged onto the back of another team. Loser commented that it was a good idea to leave two members of the team out on the mountains with no map, when their group couldnt even find their way when they had one. Evil's followed.
Working on instinct and the judgement of others, Five Star forged on and gave it everything for the last few miles. By time the team was in, things seemed a little brighter, although everyone had a feeling that a lot of time had been lost. More importantly there was no sign of Choker and Taps. Were they OK. Had they been lost to the swamp..... Thats another story.
That night in the pub everyone chatted over a few too many beers and agreed it had been a good entertaining day, grim at times but good fun. The realisation that about half the teams had got lost in the swamp helped to put things in context. Maybe a top ten finish was still on
